Rule #2

You've read Rule #1, but you didn't quite listen. Call it a genetic defect or just plain stupidity, but you broke one of the previous rules of Common Sense and are now in a sketchy situation. This brings us to our next rule:

Rule#2 Don't be stupid or skanky

Dumb whores (male and female) always die first. Okay, okay, that might sound a little harsh, but we all know it is true. In every classic horror/syfy movie, the person who hears that sound in a dark room down the hall and then goes to investigate ends up with a sickle in the back or pitchfork through the heart. You all know who I am talking about: that first stupid person who doesn't listen to common sense and goes to figure out what is going on. Huh, I wonder what this creepy voodoo doll lying in the middle of the floor could mean? Is that really blood on the wall? Why is that light flickering? Did I just see a shadow move outside? If you ask yourself any of these questions, forget it, find a group, and grab a weapon. Don't go out to exlpore, you will only wind up dead. I also said that "dumb whores" die first as well. Sometimes they might be the stupid person who investigates the noise or maybe they are the two who sneak of for some romantic encounter in the woods or psych hospital....come on, REALLY?? Sorry, but you are goners as well. Also, if your stomach, boobs, butt, or thighs are exposed, chances are you are skanky and will be among the first to die. And boys, dressing like K. Fed is never a good idea. Only once have I seen a K. Fed wannabe survive/ (And I guarantee John Gosselin would be the first to go and nobody would care!) There might be a few ways to avoid this: cover up and don't be such a ho. This might be a hard concept to grasp for some of you, but trust me, skanky people die just as fast as the dumb ones. Do yourself a favor and clean it up. It might just save your life.

( If you can't read the caption for this movie it is: If they fly, YOU DIE!! AWESOME)