Frankenfish!

The other day on the Syfy channel, there was a movie entitled, “Frankenfish.” It was a FABULOUS story of a giant mutated/engineered fish that roamed the Louisiana Bayou eating people. This made me think of my goldfish I had in college. My roommate and I broke the dorm rules and got fish. It started with a grand adventure to Wal-Mart. We were suckers for the 4 for $1 goldfish bargain. We started out with a fish bowl/cheap decorative vase. This didn’t end well: too many fish, not enough air. The next day, we already had a dead floater. Within a few days, all the fish died. Wow, that was not what I wanted to happen.

So we tried again and got more fish. We did a little better, worked out the clean water/air situation, but these were violent fish. The fish actually started attacking each other, fighting for air or space—very Gladiator like. We had to take one out and put her in her own bowl. We thought she was dead. She was missing scales and covered in blood. This fish became the most hardcore, violent fish I have ever seen, a true FRANKENFISH. It ate/attacked any other fish it encountered. It’s name was Domino, after the “bounty hunter” Domino Harvey (don't judge us-we had just watched the movie). We ended up having to keep her separated because she was so vicious.

Some of our fish became suicidal, or they were simply trying to escape Domino. One day we were chilling and the fish just leaps out of the bowl, splattering on the floor, thrashing about on the carpet. Did that really just happen? I thought that only happened in cartoons!

Another time a fish just disappeared. It might have been kamikaze fish, but we believe it fell victim to demented Domino. Wake up feed 4 fish. Go to class/work. Come home, only 3 fish. I'm not a Math major, but I'm pretty sure 3 is less than 4, and fish just don't disappear. Huh, no fish body lying around near the tank. ! Just vanished, gone…DOMINO??!?!!

When my roommate moved out, she and her husband got an actual tank and took Domino. We hoped the ample space and diversity of fish would settle her down a bit, but no luck! Yet again she continued to eat smaller fish, or ferociously attacking them until they only had one fin, kinda like Nemo, but not as cute. I feel a little bad for creating such a monster fish. I’m just glad she couldn’t mutate into a 30 footer and swallow me whole… I know she would have. Four years later, I’m pretty sure Domino is still alive, terrorizing more poor little fish. I think that she and Frankenfish could have been best buddies! (if they weren't trying to kill each other!)

Anyway, I guess the point of this rant is that I can see how the fish became so psycho and began eating everyone. For once, I actually understood a Syfy movie. Huh, who knew???

(The tagline for this film is: Welcome to the bottom of the food chain! I really need to get a job writing for these people! Genius!)